Prove it

she began to walk away - he could hardly believe it all. he called after her, with a sort of urgency, scared to let her leave. she turned her face towards him and his heart leaped again.

"do you really like me?" he asked.

"yes," she smiled, the soft look of questioning leaving her eyes.

"prove it."

he scarecely had time to realized he had really just uttered those words aloud when she rushed back towards him, slipped a hand behind his head, and brought his lips to hers. air rushed up into him and he felt every bit of the sweetness he had seen in that gaze, became almost insane with it. she pulled away as quickly as she had drawn near, smiling, oh such a smile, and leaving her eyes on him even as she turned away to go.

he felt dizzy with happiness. he didn't have time to think of what a fool he might have looked like, standing there almost dazed. the smile on his face was a new kind, one he was not used to. it was real, unforced and sloppily hanging on. all there was in his mind was her, still visible as she slipped out into the world - the real one, where things like this don't happen. she looked back even though they both knew she wouldn't even see his silhouette through the tint on the glass doors and he could feel her smile still on him. she faded out there, moving away more and more with every second, making these slow, short minutes seem even more impossible than they had when they had actually happened. he was floating and for once that wasn't a bad thing.

...

he always just floated. life had never been any good to him and the best he could do was try to hide inside himself. his friends didn't know anything was wrong because he always hid behind all the random cleverness that made them love him in the first place. a smile in place of the emotions that tore him apart more and more every day. no clues to how much he needed someone to understand.

his parents, well, they might as well have not been there for all they did. they were a ride to someplace on occasion, a bit of money, but really just adding on to it all. there were the drunken nights he watched, the pointless yelling, never reaching out, nothing but a problem. he'd sometimes just crawl into the closet and curl up and hope it would all go away. he knew he was too old for this shit, but it was all he had.

he hated being this way. he didn't want to be another stereotypical depressed kid, wallowing every second of his life, masquerading as someone who turned to blades without a second thought in the hopes of getting just a moment of attention. maybe it was a little extreme, the way he felt about himself when he was down about anything. he only made it twice as bad when he hated himself for feeling anything when it all went wrong again.

he supposed he knew that too.

it didn't matter anyways. all he had to do was float through another year or so and he'd be free of this hell. he could move out and start his own life. there weren't exactly clear plans or reasons for why such a simple thing would make it all right - he could only blindly put all his hopes in this being true, incapable of breaking his heart anymore by admitting it might not change a thing.

but now...was this something truly worthy of his hope? she was so beautiful. and she proved it. she proved it about as clearly as anyone could. she liked him. he didn't have any idea why but he wouldn't question it much. he brushed his fingers over his lips, wanting to taste her this time. she was just a memory on his mouth and a number scrawled on his hand, but he knew it could finally be something more. something he could actually feel for once. she was not a poem he only wished would be more than a scrap of paper. she was not a picture he created in his mind to take away the loneliness for a few brief moments alone in the dark. she breathed in the air and made it into something better when it came back out. she gave trees life, she gave him life, she was a world of things he'd never known before.


he sat quietly, his mouth still curved, playing it over and over, wishing it was more like a movie he could actually rewind and see perfectly without the dream-like quality of his memories. he looked at her across a row of cds - her eyes moved up and she looked back. he darted his eyes back down, ready to blush and he heard her giggle. he looked up again and met her eyes. now she blushed. he wanted to move, go over and be closer to her, but he was scared. what if she's only laughing at what an idiot i am? she couldn't really be...well, interested, right?, he thought. he'd been glancing up at her for a while now...what if she had actually noticed him the whole time?

he lost his confidence slowly with each question he created and it was like she could sense it - "hey, um, maybe you could help me...find something." she seemed unsure for only a moment, but when he looked back at her in the middle of her statement, she was sure that she'd seen just what she thought. his face seemed full of apprehension, then slowly turned to hopeful, nervous joy. she thought he looked as if she'd just saved his life and maybe she was more right than she could have known.

"sure," he breathed and almost really smiled. he wasn't sure if this was worse than the embarassment he'd been on the brink of or actually better. now he was terrified of messing this up and making her walk away. but what was he saying? how did he know he had a chance anyways? maybe she was just playing with him. or maybe she really just had a question. god, maybe she even thought he only worked there.

he moved almost too quickly around the row to get to her. he didn't want to lose sight of her, as if thinking she would disappear. he shifted his eyes from the floor to her over and over, stuck between being scared to stare and scared to look away. she smiled at how lost he looked, thinking he had nothing to worry about. she'd seen him walk in and had wanted to talk to him right then, but even she was capable of being a little apprehensive. then she lost him in the crowd, only just noticing he was right in front of her. ah, chance, what a beautiful thing it was.

he made it. he was standing next to her. he thought he could smell her perfume, but he was in the middle of a giant store with god knows how many other women walking around and it all blended together sometimes. he decided to be romantic and just say it was her. she'd gotten only more gorgeous as he got closer - and she was thinking about the same of him. youth's deceptions had captured them both and it could not be helped. he was still scared, but it was the most pleasant type of fear he'd ever felt. "so...what did you want help with?" he managed to say calmly.

she wondered if she should even bother with this. she wanted to be forward, get it out there, ask his name, his birthday, if she could have him and hold him and not let him leave here without swearing to meet her again. she thought he might almost like it. after he got over the shock of course. she didn't think he was used to girl's talking that way to him.

she narrowed her eyes slightly, curiously, and smiled. "what's your name?"

"oh, um, i'm, uh..."

"oh, nevermind, it doesn't matter" she said, crossing her arms delicately. "now...what does is - would you rather i asked you to help me find a cd i don't even really want and then ask you if you want my number or just come right out and ask now?"

there was the shock she expected. his eyes opened wide and his mouth came open a little and she thought she might just not let him answer and kiss him. he stammered for a moment like this was far easier than anything he'd even just imagined in any daydreams. finally he managed to get it out - "i, well, i'd definitely like your number. i've...kind of been looking at you."

oh god, what an idiot! now she thinks you're a creep! he thought. instead of getting the look of disgust he imagined, she smiled and laughed. "actually, i was looking at you a little too," she said. she looked straight into his eyes and he became aware of just how fast his heart had began to beat. her eyes were so clear, so open. he's never seen such a sweet, light green before. she hid nothing and seemed to be stripping away all the layers he had spent so long builiding up. it was a  thought he would have found unpleasant in any other situation, but it felt amazing right now - to finally be seen without any need to cover himself with a joke or a lie. he couldn't believe how brilliantly nervous she made him.

she was glad he had made this simple. she probably would have picked some horrid band to look for, one he hated and he'd decide that no matter how much he seemed to want to talk to her he couldn't do it. she pulled out the pen she always kept in her pocket and reached for his hand. she held it palm up, softly, clicking out the pen's tip, writing across his wrist. her touched made him giddy and she herself wasn't sure she wanted to let go. she held on a moment longer than she needed, meeting his eyes again. it was as if another conversation was being had between their looks, his dark brown eyes telling her that he wanted her, hers replying that she wanted him too, telling him he didn't even need to try to take her because she wouldn't put up a fight.

"i like you" she said, without thought or shame or even embarrassment.

he felt his heart explode.

she let his hand go but it didn't sink back to his side. it only dropped a little, frozen in her words. he didn't seem capable of moving, caught in surprise yet again. "i can't stay much longer. i actually didn't have the time to stop by in the first place...but i'm glad i did. you will call me, right?"

"of course," he barely said, sounding almost offended that she would think anything otherwise.

"good," she smiled. "and none of that bullshit about waiting a week or so before it's appropriate. i expect to have a message on my machine by tomorrow if we don't happen have a real conversation."

now he laughed, feeling some of the confidence he'd almost had make it's way back. "i guess i can't mess that up then."

"no, you most certainly can't." she glanced down at her watch and her eyes told his that she hated to leave but the world called. it always did. i love you, they said, i really already do. his whispered back the same. "don't you forget me," she said, pointing her finger softly in his direction and reluctantly she turned to walk away.

forget you? how could i possibly do that? he thought. the he realized she was leaving.

"wait..."

she turned.

"do you really like me?"

"yes."

"prove it."

...